Don't Settle For Scrubs!

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I’m not talking about medical scrubs here. So what is a scrub you ask?

Time for a 90s flashback!

In other words, scrubs are the guys at the bottom of the barrel. The guys that the Tumblr Hive Mind think about when they talk about catcalling, harassment, and “nice guy syndrome.” The guys who won’t take a hint and back off. It’s one thing to be nice. It’s one thing to let your armor down for a guy who really wants to make an effort. But it’s another thing when a guy texts you the day after you meet and asks why you didn’t respond right away. It’s another thing when a guy acts passive-aggressive or outright aggressive when you try to take things slow. The armor you have is there for a reason.

I dealt with my fair share of scrubs ever since middle school. Usually, they were the guys who would flirt with me in class. Their antics irritated me to no end. The worst part was that it didn’t seem like there were any good guys around to take my defense or tell me that not all guys were like that. For the longest time, I believed that I wasn’t pretty because the only guys I attracted were immature jerks.

Ladies, don’t ever believe that you’re not beautiful just because a construction worker wolf-whistles at you or some guy at a bar wants to put his hand up your skirt. Don’t settle for attention from guys like that. As hard as it is to believe, there are genuinely good, single guys out there. And yes, they are straight.

But your value doesn’t lie in any guy. It doesn’t even lie in the man you end up marrying. You are valuable and precious and wonderful in God’s eyes as you are. The best way to handle scrubs is knowing what you are worth. You are worth dying on the Cross for. You are worthy of having the best guy that God created for you. There will be guys out there who will send mixed messages and try to take their insecurities out on you. Don’t let them. Know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. The scrubs you meet aren’t worthy of your kindness, your time, and any effort you take on being “nice” for the sake of being the better person. There is such a thing as excess of virtue.

Know your limits. Be polite, but get out of a bad situation as quickly as possible. Learn some self-defense classes. Trust your gut when you feel like something bad is going on. Don’t accept every guy who sends you a friend request on Facebook. Don’t follow back every guy on Twitter and Instagram. And if you’re online-dating, make sure you meet the guy in person and bring a friend with you in case things get ugly. And most of all, don’t let their ugliness get to you.

Pray for your future husband, whether it be an earthly one or a heavenly one. It’s hard to believe that there is a genuinely wonderful man out there waiting for us. But then again, many people have an issue with believing in a Divine Creator and His only begotten Son. If you can believe in God and that God loves you, you can believe that He will lead you to your future husband.

And to all the boys out there who think they can just want, take, and have any girl:

 

How To Feel Beautiful Without Having a Bikini Body

It’s summer time, which means shopping for bathing suits, dieting, and working out for that “bikini body.” I’m not the kind of woman who feels insecure about her looks, but there are times when even I feel like a hundred-pound cow. Last night, a video of men trying on women’s bathing suits showed up on my social media feed. I rolled my eyes at the antics of the men, but I felt extremely, irrationally jealous over the woman who modeled the bathing suits. 

I grew up reading stories of girls starving themselves or making themselves throw up to try and look like their favorite celebrity or to be as skinny as possible because our society sees skinny as beautiful. I never had those issues, but I still recall when I got called “snaggletooth” in high school due to my crooked teeth and a “Cabbage Patch Kid” in college because I wore braces and bucket hats. Sometimes, it takes time for a girl to grow into her looks. 

“That’s all well and good, you say, but how does that help how I feel about myself right now?” you ask.

It starts with having an attitude of gratitude. You may not have a bikini body. Love it anyway. You may not even feel like you have a healthy weight. Work towards that. You’re still alive and presumably able to go about your day normally, which means you are on some levels healthy. You can at least start with the fact that you are alive, which is always a blessing in and of itself. Then remember these Bible verses:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:14

“Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

“But the Lord said to Samuel: Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature, because I have rejected him. God does not see as a mortal, who sees the appearance. The Lord looks into the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

Start from the inside and work your way out. Maybe you have the talent of playing a musical instrument or you’re really good with saving and investing money or you know how to change the oil in a car. Maybe you have a great passion for gardening or know how to cook a seriously good omelet or you can knit a sweater better than your grandma. Maybe you’re serious about the things that you love and stand up for it no matter what. These are all amazing gifts to have and are part of what makes you beautiful. Forget what One Direction says. You need to know that you are beautiful and own it. That is what makes you beautiful.

Whether or not you believe it, you were created with careful thought and love. Remember in Genesis that God saw his Creation and said that it was good. I realize that also includes mosquito and cockroaches, but also keep in mind that Hebrews 2:7 says “You made him for a little while lower than the angels; you crowned him with glory and honor.” We aren’t entitled special snowflakes who deserve the world on a silver platter, but we should value ourselves as human beings.

No matter how you look, know that you were created with love. 

Today, I got ready, but I didn’t put any makeup. I went to get the mail dressed in your typical jean shorts and tshirt. Then I opened up a package that contained I’ve been waiting an entire week to get:

MY BUFFY T-SHIRT!

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T-Shirt from TeePublic, created by alecxps. #nomakeup #nofilter

I don’t care that it’s summertime and wearing black is basically asking for trouble. I know it’s not a bathing suit. I don’t even care that I’m not wearing any makeup. I feel like a superhero. And that’s all that matters.

What Does It Mean to be Beautiful?

In my honest opinion, butts are overrated.

It baffles me to this day that people write songs and lyrics about a person’s hindquarters. Seriously? How is a butt more beautiful than a person’s eyes or hair or voice? Or for that matter, what about personality?

But then again, Top 40 songs aren’t what you call “deep.”

On the other hand, celebrities are making such a big deal about the importance of body positivity. While I support the idea of appreciating the body one was born with, I don’t want it to come at the expense of shaming others for their bodies.

Julie Borowski pointed out the hypocrisy of some curvy women shaming skinny women in her latest video (to this date). And there are girls out there who are underweight for a lot of reasons that don’t involve eating disorders.

Disclaimer: What I’m about to say is just my opinion. I am not saying that I’m not above being superficial every now and then. I rarely look at a person and notice his or her physical beauty first. That’s not the same for everyone and that’s okay. I’m just stating that if we want to be truly body positive, we have to look beyond the superficial and figure out what beauty actually is.

So what does it mean to be beautiful?

To me, true beauty is a mix of a person’s physical, mental, and spiritual makeup. A beautiful person is someone who lives a healthy lifestyle. Someone who does the best they can to have a balanced, moderated diet and exercises, but not to the extent that they practically live at the gym. Someone who may or may not put on makeup or style their hair, but knows their best traits and gives those traits a featured role. (Examples of physical features I find beautiful include hair, eyes, smile, and voice. Something that every human being has and can show off easily.)

On top of being physically healthy, a beautiful person has to have a beautiful personality. To me, a beautiful person is someone who is kind, generous, and loving. And it can’t just extend to just those one likes, but the less fortunate and even a person’s perceived enemies and “haters.” Nobody can really be that perfect, but we can all do our best to go out of our way for somebody.

I find all different types of people beautiful, like children with Down Syndrome, a handful of Hollywood actors, and the many friends I have. I think that if the body positivity movement should move towards something, it should move towards showing the beauty in everyone and making the world a more beautiful place.