Dating and Other Things Catholic: Men of Christ Monday with John Antonio

 

14247973_639014569593599_580270829_o

John Antonio is a single Catholic professional who runs a medical ethics and professionalism program for resident physicians in the Texas Medical Center. He is also a lifestyle writer Catholicsingles.com and Catholic speaker. His new book Dating and Other Things Catholic: What Seminary Taught Me About Single Life is a smart, witty guide that I recommend to all millennials who are just starting out or for anyone who needs to start over from a major setback.

1) Where did the inspiration to write Dating and Other Things Catholic come from?

4 years ago I was leaving seminary. I had spent almost my whole life there. I didn’t know anything about careers, dating, or the lifestyle of a single professional. I had never gotten a job. I had never gone on a date. I did not know a lot of things about the lifestyle of a single young professional. I did not know how to ask a young lady out nor how to get a job. I looked for Catholic books on this since I was a Catholic. I did not find one. So I decided to do research, gain new experiences, and write the book myself.

2) Tell me what it’s like to be single. How is that different from dating, marriage, and religious life?

The religious has the Church. The married have each other. The dating have each other to some degree but not in a stable form of life. Someone who is “single” could still be dating but generally not in a serious relationship. He/she makes many decisions alone and is very in control of their destiny. That adds a new opportunity to life. Single life is a huge opportunity.

3) One problem I personally have with being single is loneliness. How do you deal with that?
A single person needs 3 things: friends, a mission, and the right type of daily routine. I find that when singles have these 3 things they feel loneliness much less.

4) Who’s your go-to saint when it comes to living the single life and discerning your vocation?
St. Valentine. “Love is all you need” or is that the Beatles?

5) What advice would you give to young adults who are discerning vocations to marriage? What advice would you give to those discerning religious life? And for those who are indecisive?
There will always be a fork in the road at some point. You will have the choice to give your freedom away or hold on to it tightly. In my experience, giving it away is risky but it leads to more exciting things. If you give it away to something good, that is.

6) Where do you see yourself five years from now?

Subscribe to my blog and I’ll keep you up to date 🙂 …I already have another book in the works though for starters; the one that will tell all and tell things as they are.

Why I Refuse to Call Myself "Trash"

Мусор_и_ребенок

 

I have a love-hate relationship with modern day slang. I had to deal with “swagger” being a thing during my college days, but nowadays, the latest millenial slang is pretty good. I love how “goals” is a thing along with “#squadgoals” and #relationshipgoals.” We all should have goals and aspire to have an awesome life. I also love “slay,” cuz, you know, vampire slayer lover here!

There is one word I refuse to use in reference to myself, though: Trash.

Whenever someone refers to themselves as “trash,” it means that they devote themselves so much to a fandom such as the DC shows, or to a celebrity.

It’s kind of ironic that the generation that gets called “narcissistic” refers to itself as “trash.” As if millenials don’t have enough self-esteem issues!  I get that the people of Tumblr and Twitter don’t actually mean to compare themselves to garbage, but the problem is that they forgotten that the words that we choose to call ourselves have a powerful impact on ourselves.

You know what else gets called trash? Homeless people, prostitutes, and aborted babies. No, you’re not special snowflakes, fellow millenials. You’re not entitled to whatever you want just because you want it. But at the same time, stop calling yourselves trash when you talk about how much you love something. Every single human life, no matter who they are or where they live, has a God-given intrinsic value. It’s like what Peggy Carter said in the Agent Carter season 1 finale: “I know my value. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t really matter.”

Millenials of all ages, know what you are worth by being humble.

“Wait, what?” you ask. “How does being humble help us understand what we are worth?”

Once again, we come to a seemingly impossible paradox. Humility is not thinking the worst of yourself. It’s knowing that you can always do better. It means not seeking out attention for the sake of stroking your own vanity, but at the same time learning to give credit when credit is due. Be proud of your accomplishments, but don’t rub them into everyone’s face. And most of all, don’t go for a minimalist spirituality by thinking “Oh as long as I don’t do bad things, I won’t go to Hell.” That’s not how it works, honey.

There’s a wonderful prayer called the “Litany of Humility” that spells out what it means to be humble. It’s a prayer I highly recommend you contemplate this Lent. I often pray this during retreats. My favorite part of the prayer is “That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.” It reminds me that we are all called to holiness and that God wants us to love ourselves as much as He loves us. That does not mean referring to ourselves as trash or by becoming narcissists. It simply means knowing our own value. We are worth dying for and as such, we need to live for Him.

Lent Day 4: Joy and Fear

Fr. Robert Barron’s Lent Reflection focuses on an extraordinary woman named Mother Teresa, who lived out the joy of her mission of caring for the poorest of the poor. Fr. Barron says in his reflection that we all want joy. According to Aristotle, mankind’s ultimate end is to find happiness. However, we make the mistake of trying to fill up that missing part of ourselves.

My friend Joseph makes a case for this on his Lent reflection.

With the popularization of things like Facebook, Snapchat, and vlogging, one could make the case that today’s generation has become one of the most self-absorbed and self-centered generations of all time.

But I don’t think that’s really the point. And I would argue that my generation doesn’t exactly deserve that kind of criticism. I think the point is that we seem to be living in a culture that constantly promotes the fear of being forgotten.

Here comes the paradox of Mother Teresa’s lifestyle. The reason she is remembered is not because she actively sought attention for herself, but because she focused on giving her time and effort towards helping others. The joy of her calling is easy to see if you’ve ever seen pictures of her. Even when she was in a period of total darkness, nobody could tell because she made the best of that horrible situation by emptying herself more.

My photo today is of a gift my brother got me at SXSW. It’s a Companion Cube! In the end of Portal 2, it was GLADOS’s sign of good faith to Chell that (unless Portal 3 is created) GLADOS won’t try and get Chell ever again after Chell finally gets out of the Aperture Science labs. This has nothing to do with what I posted earlier, but I did promise that I would show what I picked for my 365grateful project and I’m gonna hold myself to it.

Image

Dear Journal

As I’ve stated a week ago, I’m blogging in pursuit of getting my novel published. And I’ve been writing with the intent of getting published for a while. But before I started blogging and novel writing, I was writing my thoughts down in journals. It all started with one of those tiny Lisa Frank notebooks that I had in first grade. I now use composition notebooks because they remind me of one of my favorite children’s book series: Amelia’s Notebooks by Marissa Moss

There are many ways to keep a journal such as a diet journal, a budget journal to keep track of spending, and stuff like that. Right now, I’m keeping a regular journal along with a gratitude journal, a goals journal, and this blog.

Why so many journals? I tend to compartmentalize things. My regular journal is where I can be honest with myself. My gratitude journal helps me to remember the little things I appreciate about everyday life, my goals journal is to help me keep track of the big picture (while my planner takes care of the details), and this blog is sort of a progress report about everything overall.

So why do I call it a journal and not a diary? Blame it on the 90s, specifically this guy:

 

So yeah. My biggest influences for journal writing were from an obscure children’s book series and a 90s cartoon. Not exactly transcendental or high brow, but I’m a millenial.

Here’s a secret about me: I love reading famous diaries. Anne Frank, The Diary of St. Faustina, and the journals of Thomas Merton are all wonderful reads. In a way, diaries give me an insight to a person in a different way than an autobiography. Autobiographies have a way of glossing over things. Don’t get me wrong. I love autobiographies. But journals and diaries are a lot more immediate. Just like a video blog that’s done spur-of-the-moment, a diary or journal captures the thoughts of the moment. There’s no way to gloss things over when emotions are spilling over.

There is sort of a downside to the emotional honesty, though. In a lot of my journals, there are rivers of denial. It’s clear now that I wasn’t thinking clearly during those times and that I wanted to convince myself that things were going to turn out a certain way. I guess I thought that if I wrote it down in my journal, I convinced myself that I could keep things at a distance. Now I realize that complete honesty is required when it comes to journal writing.

There’s just one thing: if you do decide to keep a journal, I don’t recommend sharing your journal unless it’s done to keep yourself accountable for something. And for goodness’ sake, don’t burn your journals, no matter how lame they are! Keep them in storage, send them to the other side of the world, but for God’s sake, don’t burn them! Someday, there will come a time when you will look back on what you wrote and find that you’ve become a totally different person, a sense of closure from the bad things, and laugh at the stupid things.

So what do you think? Do you keep a journal? What are some famous diaries that you’ve read? Any recommendations?