Last night I had a dream.
I was travelling somewhere.
The sky was clear.
The road was ahead.
People were waiting for me.
In the seat next to mine,
my mother asks me:
“Do you want to go?”
I really wanted to
At the same time, I was scared.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“That’s okay,” she said.
“We can go home and wait until you are.”
So the car started up
and I woke up.
How I wanted to say “Yes.”
Because I wanted to go the distance.
I know that I was scared.
I know that I’m still scared.
What we don’t know is always scary.
And yet whatever was waiting for me
Calling to me
I wanted to go.
I still want to go.
I know that the future is uncertain
The way isn’t clear, but the light shines brightly
I enter back into the dream
This time I say “Yes. I want to go.”
All I know now
is that I’m gonna go the distance.
Whatever else happens,
let it be done unto me.
Do you remember the things that you dream? Dreams are often absurd, but at the same time they are the subconscious’s way of processing things. I don’t remember my dreams often, but when I do, they usually mean something to me. I dreamt of dating whenever I was put into a situation where I met some cute guys. I used to have nightmares of running away from the things that scared me.
My latest dream, though, was a weird one. I dreamt that I was an assassin or some kind of mercenary with two other people. We were inside of a public bathroom when suddenly one of my teammates ends up shooting the both of us. I particularly remember being shot in the back and lying down on the floor with my fellow assassin/mercenary lying down next to me.
Then, all of a sudden, I hear someone yelling “CUT!” I get up as if nothing has happened, although there is a hole in my side. When the other assassin/mercenary gets up after and the three of us walk out of the bathroom, I realize that it was all just a movie. I chat things up with my fellow actors as if nothing is wrong and compliment them on how well they did on the scene.
I don’t really know if this dream means anything, but I think we can all relate to the idea of how our subconscious can end up troubling us in our waking life. I’ve mentioned in a previous post how sin can make us avoid change out of guilt or pride. One wonderful thing about the Sacrament of Reconciliation is that it helps us untangle the messy parts of ourselves.
I wasn’t able to really clear my head about my dream until I finally wrote it down and accepted that I won’t understand it completely. In a similar way, our consciences can never really be clear until we acknowledge that we are sinful. Through Confession, we confront our problems and find a way to understand and deal with them.
One reason Catholics confess their sins to a priest is because God acts through the priest. When the priest absolves us of our sins, we trust that God has completely forgiven us and will always love us.
The year of Mercy will officially start at the feast of the Immaculate Conception, but some parishes in my area have already started on the Year of Mercy by holding reconciliation services. Reconciliation services are days where priests go to a church to hear Confessions outside of the regularly scheduled time. Check if there’s one going on in your parish this month.