1) There was a slight delay on my Buffy Countdown due to me coming down with what could either be a sinus infection or the flu. Either way, I was resigned to my room since Friday. I couldn’t update my Buffy countdown until now was because the topic of the episode dealt with death. I’m approaching the death anniversary of a dear friend this week. Grief and loss are not something you want to think about when you’re sick. If all goes well, I’ll be writing more about dealing with grief and loss on the 24th.
2) I learned that you can make yourself sick. While I tend to get sick during the change of seasons, the last time I remember being this sick was when I was under a lot of stress. Before I got sick, I was trying to deal with the disappointment of not going to Dallas Comic Con. I might have some more disappointments in the future. But I can’t dwell on disappointments and let them get to me. Sometimes life doesn’t go the way that you plan and you just gotta learn how to cope with it.
3) The Rosary was a powerful medicine that helped me calm down when I was sweating at night. I started cooling down as I was meditating on each decade. Never underestimate the power of prayer. When I prayed the Rosary, I visualized myself inside the chapel I spent a lot of time in during my college years. I remember seeing Mary floating over the monstrance, smiling at me. It was a peaceful, wonderful experience.
4) One bright side to this weekend was that I got a lot of movies from the library before I got sick, which means I can watch movies all day. I also had Netflix and YouTube for when I was put on bedrest. One downside to being sick is that I seriously miss my friends. I can’t even talk to my online friends that often because I have to constantly sleep. Some of my friends are sick, too. It’s that time of year, I guess.
5) I watched the three-part “Girl Meets Texas” and feel like the drama bomb has finally hit the show. To my surprise, the last episode had a lot of quick scenes and didn’t exactly give the audience any answers as to what’s gonna happen with everyone. But then again, we’re not done with the season yet. I know that Tumblr is jumping really hard on the “Lucaya” ship. The two characters have amazing chemistry. But if there’s anything I learned from the Captain Swan ship of Once Upon a Time, a good OTP can’t just rely on chemistry alone. And no, I do not ship Captain Swan. I don’t really invest in any ships on Girl Meets World, either. I just want everyone to be happy.
6) I’m starting to hear about how people are asking Saints Louis and Zelie Martin to intercede in their dating life. I’m so happy that the Catholic Church canonized a married couple for the first time. And since I have such a devotion to St. Therese, I have no doubt that Sts. Louis and Zelie will start interceding in my life as well.
7) One practice a lot of single ladies like to do is pray for and write letters to their future husband. When I decided to pick up that practice again, I found myself wondering if such a person could exist. It’s bizzare, but I can more easily believe in the existence of God than in the existence of a human being that I haven’t met yet. And when I think of the person my future husband could be, my mind just went to the worst case scenarios. I’ve been hurt and disappointed in love so many times, it’s just hard for me to believe that there’s someone out there who can love me with all my complexities, fandoms, and obsessions.
It’s times like this that I have to remind myself of a Bible verse that’s been on my tablet and hanging on my mirror: Jeremiah 29:11. “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” God has already created my heart. And ultimately, my life is in His hands. Women may lament that “all the good ones are married” and I’ll admit, I have to wonder if I’m worthy of a husband. Then again, are any of us worthy of receiving grace? Of receiving God’s unconditional love? NOPE! Good spouses don’t come into our lives just because we want them or we feel like we deserve them. They come into our lives because God planned it that way.
As of right now, I believe that my future husband is out there. I also know that I’m not ready to meet him yet. If you feel like me, take this advice: spend this time preparing yourself. Take time to love yourself first. Your life won’t be instantly perfect when you get married. Check out this article from Verily Magazine if you don’t believe me.
Pray that I get well, y’all.